Rilla's Big Parking Lot of Life

I love a good list. In fact, it's my go-to way of coping when everything--absolutely everything--in my life is OUT OF CONTROL. Virtually anything can trigger list-making. A good list can go a long way toward reestablishing the illusion that I could be in control. In 1992 after being robbed on the street on a sunny spring day in Strasbourg, I found myself in a French police station. I wasn't happy. First, there was the robbery and then, because of it, our dinner plans were canceled.I was hungry. It seemed to be beyond very important in a French kind of way to report this crime. I was sitting there listening to my French-fluent daughter ask rapid-fire questions of the police on my behalf. Me? I started to make a list of what I thought was in my wallet before it left my purse. We still laugh about how we each resorted to character under stress--lots of questions from her, list-making by me.

Not all lists are born in crisis. Every day lists play a part in keeping me on track now that I can find myself in a room and not remember why I went there. And I even use my iPhone to make lists, especially shopping lists. There is no cross-out function, but I can delete an item--almost as satisfying. Imagine my best list--organized and prioritized, maybe even numbered in the order in which I plan to attend to the items.If it's a list of errands, it's even likely to be charted to be sure I don't waste time or gas and can accomplish the list most efficiently. You know, do all the Main Street tasks at the same time sort of thing.

At one time, I might have said a list could organize my life. Yes, there would be some things more important and/or more urgent than others. But every aspiration could be on the list. What I have realized of late is that some things--even things that feel urgent and important--don't ever need to get done or be on the list. Like Christmas cards or ironing pillow cases. But how about "doing something" with all the family pictures? What if I never cleaned out my under-deck storage?

These kinds of "shoulds" need to be dealt with or they just keep cycling back. For me it's best if I see them written down. That somehow forces me to make a decision to do, delay, or plan never to do. So now I have Rilla's Big Parking Lot of Life (BPLL). It's my list of things I have decided for now I will not do either because the thought overwhelms me or they seem unimportant.

The idea for the BPLL is borrowed from too many years of facilitating group discussions where we used a flip chart or a white board to make diplomatic note of pesky diversionary topics and ideas worth considering another day (but not today). I admit that there were occasions where certain items went to the parking lot to die. But others were gems that deserved at least another half-life of consideration.

My BPLL has both kinds of things in it.Right now, it looks like a random list. There is no need to organize or prioritize because I have no intention--currently--of doing these things.They are not lost. In the words of the immortal Fats Waller, "One never knows, do one?" But they are good reminders about what is not important in my life, at this moment, in this place. Where I can let myself off the hook. The BPLL makes it possible some days to rest open, to be fully engaged in right now.

Not a bad accomplishment from a humble list.